Squidward Tentacles is an octopus (despite his name) that lives under the sea with his neighbors SpongeBob SquarePants and Patrick Star who usually annoy the hell out of him. He works as a cash register at The Krusty Krab.
- His clarinet
- Being alone
- SpongeBob and Patrick not being around
- Not being annoyed
- SpongeBob (Sometimes)
- Patrick (Sometimes)
- His days off
- Krabby Patties
- SpongeBob asking him if he finished those errands
- People saying that he plays clarinet badly
- "GO AWAY!"
- "DON'T YOU TWO HAVE ANY BRAINS!?!?!?!"
- "Don't they know I'm busy spoiling myself?"
- "IT'S NOT MY BIRTHDAY!!!"
- "OH NO, HE'S HOT!"
- "FOUR WAY!"
- "No, Patrick, mayonnaise is NOT an instrument."
- "Horseradish is not an instrument either."
- "I've come for you pickle..."
- "Doe's THIS look unsure to you?"
- "I hate Krabby Patties!"
- "I LOOOOVE KRABBY PATTIES!!"
- "Oh, what's gonna happen, am I gonna blow up?"
- "This lemon has three seeds in it! THAT'S AN ODD NUMBER!! I can't eat anything odd numbered!"
- "Is this where the line starts?"
- "That idea just might be crazy enough...TO GET US ALL KILLED!!"
- "I think my heart just stopped."